Yes, You Can Be a Spiritual Mother

Kay Daigle

“Kay, I believe God wants you to mentor me.”

How did I react? I tried not to show my shock, but I was thinking that this 20-something woman had definitely not heard from God. At the time I was in my mid-thirties, and I felt completely unqualified. As quickly as possible I found a way out, trying not to hurt her feelings.

What if she approached me today? I would still feel the same way, but I would be willing. The word mentor is scary. I have learned, however, that I can do it with God’s help. Fear doesn’t point us to God’s will. Now I don’t think of myself as a mentor but as a spiritual mother.

Why do I better relate to the idea of being a spiritual mother? As a physical mother I have great weaknesses and don’t have answers to every question. A spiritual mother is similar—she isn’t perfect, all-knowing, or likely an icon of the faith. Trying to pretend otherwise doesn’t connect well with the younger generation.

I know that more than anything else, mothers are present. Their faith rubs off in everyday life. We are pray-ers, cheerleaders, counselors, and doctors. Whatever our kids need, we try to provide. If they need help that we don’t have, we find it for them elsewhere. We give our time, our care, and our love—and you and I can do the same for younger women.

In Titus 2:3-5 Paul charges older women to influence the younger women of the church through the Word of God and real life application. Those without much life experience need to know how to live a live of faith in a challenging world, how to trust God when life is hard, and how to persevere when faced with doubt and disappointment. By giving time to younger women, we allow them to watch and hear as we struggle, and we encourage them that the same God who has been faithful to us through our failures and hard times will also be with them.

Spiritual mothering means taking a younger women where you go, making time for lunch or coffee now and then, listening on the phone, caring, and serving. What if she were your daughter? How would you involve her in your life and conversations?

So don’t run away from the command to invest spiritually in someone younger in the faith. Ask a younger woman to coffee or lunch, and entrust the results to God.

You don’t know any younger women? Put yourself in a situation where you will meet them. Go to a women’s Bible study that includes small groups of intergenerational women instead of attending the one you have been in for years, or get involved in mission activities in your church or through a ministry.

If you want a spiritual mother, don’t necessarily join a mentoring program, but look for a woman whom you like and who models godliness and wisdom. Don’t limit your interactions with older women to your own family members.

As an older woman, recognize that not all women have someone to be that godly influence. Their mothers may be inaccessible because of distance, relationship issues, or spiritual situations. Who will invest in them? Why can’t you?

So let me ask you—what’s keeping you from investing in a younger woman, whether you are thirty-something or sixty-something? Will you get involved in God’s plans for older and younger women? Ask God to show you where to begin and start today.