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Oil & Water? Intergenerational Small Groups

By October 8, 2015July 7th, 20252 Comments

Intergenerational small groups can feel like oil and water. It’s so much easier to be around people we are most like in perspective, life stage, income, political views, spiritual level, and age. We have so much in common that our conversations are easy and less stressful. But God has designed the body to need each other for growth and sustenance. If we all see things the same way, we’re not stretched.

When we spend time with those who are different, it does sometimes seem like oil and water. We fear that we can’t completely become one. But by mixing together, we affect each other and the whole is different. And God is bigger than our fears, and he can bring unity and growth through variety.

Recently at lunch with some long-time friends, I verbalized a different opinion about a current world situation. I suspect the other women were very surprised. Likely I was the first good friend to suggest that some thinking on the issue was unbiblical and lacked faith. I don’t know that anyone changed her mind, but hopefully we were all challenged to think.

We’re all aware of the major perspective differences between the age groups in the U.S. The groups are given names like boomers, Gen-X, and Millennials. We’ve placed everyone into little boxes of presumptions (although not everyone fits quite so neatly). But it is helpful to be aware of the generalities because there’s some truth to them.

Yes, our differences can make it difficult to converse across the generations. But isn’t it in the hard conversations that we are able to work through our own biases? We struggle to break free of our shortcomings and sins when we’ve challenged, right? It certainly is for me.

When I was in my 30’s, I had the privilege of leading a women’s Bible study group for a number of years. I am so grateful that many of them were older, even much older, than I was. I gained a new perspective of God and of the way the Bible connects with my life because of the experiences they shared.

To truly follow Jesus, we need to hear from others who aren’t exactly like us.

As leaders, let’s make it a priority to mix our age groups as much as possible.

As a participant, seek out a group with a mixture of ages. And watch God work.

What has been your experience with intergenerational groups?

Other resources

You may want to link to Identifying Millennials; Ministering to Millennials; and  Ministering with Millennials. Or moving even younger, Ministering to Gen Z.

2 Comments

  • Beth McKee says:

    I have benefitted so much in my life from intergenerational groups. Women understand tears regardless of age. Many years ago, I was a young single, and had older and wiser women speak into my life. Now I am an older single, and get to pass that on. Intergenerational groups add a freshness to life– keeps me from getting in stale in giving AND receiving.

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