What are Soul Sisters? Women whose friendship involves a high level of intimacy, of baring our souls. In our series we have seen that God should be our primary soul friend. There are times when he is the only one to whom we can truly share something deep, and he is the only soul friend who can bring peace and comfort to the innermost part of our beings in the midst of any situation.
What marks a soul friendship? These qualities are all found in God’s relationships with people, such as those described between God and Moses and Jesus and his disciples.
The same qualities should mark our relationships, not with everyone but with a select few who share our faith and with whom we connect because of our personalities or interests.
These might be called true Soul Sisters. (Hopefully our spouses are friends of the soul as well, but for now we’re focusing on women.)
I have several friends whom I consider Soul Sisters. I don’t know what I would do without these women whom God has placed in my life. It takes me a long time to get to know someone to the level of trust required for true intimacy, but God has been gracious to allow me to live in one city for more than thirty years and so I have been able to develop long-term friendships. Most of these women have been part of my church community. But there are also a few women whose ministry lives intersected with mine in a way that we were deeply connected very quickly.
Soul Sisters are one aspect of Christian community through which God speaks to me for encouragement, growth, and guidance. If Jesus lives within his children, then we intersect with the Spirit as we weave our lives together in this way.
What does it look like to be a Soul Sister? What essentials set apart such relationships? What defines them?
- Soul Sisters prioritize intentional face-to-face time for each other. The second post in our series focused on the fact that time builds the foundation and preserves a soul friendship over the long haul.
- Soul Sisters keep confidences out of loyalty. This quality goes hand in hand with the next one, trust. It is impossible to share our deepest secrets with someone who isn’t loyal because we cannot trust them to react in grace, love us anyway, and keep our secrets. These two intertwined qualities are the topic of our third post.
- Soul Sisters trust each other because they have seen the loyalty of the other.
- Soul Sisters lovingly sacrifice for one another, just as Jesus did. On the night before his death, he spoke to the remaining eleven of his disciples after Judas left to betray him:
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”
Jesus calls those who are loyal to him friends, and he proves his friendship through sacrificial love.
We care so much for our Soul Sisters that we give to them even when it’s hard and inconvenient. But with such love, it doesn’t always feel sacrificial because we can’t imagine not helping. Whether we share our listening ear, our help, our possessions, our attention, or our giftedness, we gladly give to those to whom we are deeply connected.
When we love God with all our hearts, we want to work for his kingdom which necessarily entails giving up other things. When we love our spouses, we give up things we want to do to be with them. When we have soul friends, our hearts are drawn to give to them as well.
5. Soul Sisters speak truth. What does that look like?
- Soul Sisters are vulnerable about their own lives because of their trust level.
- Soul Sisters are honestly accountable to one another as they share their lives.
- Soul Sisters give gracious acceptance of each other no matter what, but also challenge each other to growth and change.
A Soul Sister is a true sister of the Spirit.
Tell us about how God led you to find a soul sister.