I have always loved Christmas, but somewhere along the way I became a Christmas perfectionist.
What did my perfectionism look like?
Even as a little girl I obsessed over our Christmas decorations. I clearly remember my annual annoyance at my sister’s work on the tree. I wanted the silver icicles perfectly hung, but she basically threw them on the branches. Because my efforts to force her to do it my way failed, I resorted to rehanging them myself when no one was around.
That began years of trying to make everything perfect during the holidays—decorations, food, gifts, house, and family. Although I wanted to have guests over, I was reluctant to do so unless all was exactly as it should be. And who determined what that was? What I saw at the stores gave me a false perception of what ‘everyone else’ had. Then, there were the Christmas parties we attended (usually church-related), which were held in the largest homes so there would be room for all. Although I knew such showplaces weren’t really representative, the comparison made me leery of inviting anyone over at all.
Since God calls us as his children to be hospitable (1 Pet. 4:9; Heb. 13:2), I wasn’t exactly being obedient. Our homes belong to him, not to us. He asks us to use them for his purposes, not to impress others. I actually enjoy hosting gatherings, especially at Christmas. At some point I bought into the cultural demands of materialism, perfection and extravagance. In trying to please people (or maybe look perfect) rather than put God at the center of our Christmas, the joy of hospitality was replaced with stress and discontent.
Perhaps you don’t consider yourself a perfectionist. (Neither did I!) Your unwillingness to be hospitable, however, may reveal you to be a perfectionist inside.
So how am I doing at simplifying Christmas? Much, much better.
When I finally chose to please God instead of trying to live up to unreal expectations of myself and the approval of others, I started hosting people during December. When I do, I serve something simple that I have time to prepare. I accept that the decorations I already own are enough, and I get my house as clean as my time allows. What I can do without stressing is good enough.
I now buy simpler and fewer gifts. When I’m invited to gatherings requiring a gift for someone who doesn’t need anything, I prefer to pass, or at least spend the minimum suggested. Rather than add to our grandchildren’s piles junk, we buy a few things and spend more on birthdays.
As a recovering Christmas perfectionist, I fight back the sense that I’m competing with friends who have Christmas stuff in every room or those who pay experts to decorate for them.
The real benefits of not being a Christmas perfectionist
With God’s help I’m spending more time focused on the real reason for this season with extra time with God. This year I’m reading two Advent devotionals and simply enjoying a good fire.
I still struggle with a deep urge to make everything perfect so I look good, but God keeps reminding me of what’s important– investing time in friends and family and giving more to those who need it.
Simplifying Christmas ends up making it more special than it ever was when I was a Christmas perfectionist!
This post is a revision of not only my original post on the topic on a defunct blog, but also its revision, Simple Christmas, in 2018.
Connect to other posts about simplicity and Advent.
